Last year I had a call from a friend that lives off of Holston Avenue here is Bristol...night time noises in the ceiling of the bedroom.  For many, (and Mrs. G. was one of them) there is nothing that will cause a lack of sleep more than hearing some type of attic critter up over your head engaged in some act that you may not approve of.  Sleepless nights are spent worrying about what exactly is going on in the wall or attic.   Is it a pair of squirrels with a rose clenched in her teeth dancing the love tango? Are they making home improvements that were not permitted by the city building inspector?  Is it making that noise because it is scratching fleas behind its ear, or is it chewing on something that’s important in holding up the house or keeping the lights on?  It sounds like it is chewing on the other side of the wall. Will it eventually chew its way into the bedroom?   These are serious questions that interrupt sleep and trigger calls to the critter guy at first light (and sometimes before first light.) 

What’s in the Attic? 

I am pretty familiar with Holston Avenue and I know that it is a nice tree lined street neighborhood with more than enough habitat to accommodate either Grey Squirrels or Flying Squirrels and this is what I expected to find given the time of year.  These two species are commonly what I find in homes around Bristol.  Fox Squirrels are also found around the Tri-cities, but aren’t a common home invader here.   They are more of an open country squirrel and prefer widely spaced trees over tightly packed forest trees. I have never had a Fox Squirrel in this particular neighborhood, so I struck them off my mental list.   

After a few questions, and a look around, I decided that it was probably Southern Flying Squirrels.  Flying squirrels are way more common than people think in this area.  We even have a rare subspecies called the Northern Flying Squirrel that is found at higher elevations around Mount Rogers.  Flying squirrels are actually the most common around here, but are always unnoticed by homeowners because they are nocturnal. 

Squirrel Stories 

I often get excited at the prospect of a Flying Squirrel job.  I love Flying Squirrels.  Sometimes, when I get excited about this sort of thing, I get chatty.   I told her about some of my flying squirrel stories.  I told Mrs. G. about another client near Bays Mountain who had a flying squirrel run across her back as she lay sleeping in her daughters' bed.  (I guess that her daughter was scared because of the scratching noises.)  Her husband caught the squirrel in a fishing dip net and they had a picture of it. It was a cute picture and I always thought that was kind of an amusing story.  Mrs. G. didn’t seem to agree.  She just wanted them out pronto. 

 Anxiety and Rapid Relief from the Problem 

Rapid relief from this problem is the name of the game, but usually it takes a little time to work through the problem.  Mrs. G. was not happy to hear this part, but if you do the job right, entrances have to be sealed, traps must sit and wait for the flying squirrel to show up, etc.  This doesn’t even take into consideration the fact that I usually have a waiting list of clients to take care of.   This leaves people anxiously waiting for me to show up while I rush to finish other clients.  That makes me anxious and the customer anxious too.   

My Predator Eviction Treatment to Scare Momma Squirrel Away 

To help with all this anxiousness, I have developed a treatment that gives one day relief to most clients.  I call it my “Predator Eviction Treatment”.  I told Mrs. G. that it works in about 80-90 percent of cases and that it usually gives relief in about 24 hours.   Mrs. G. was sleepy, worried and willing to do anything that got the animal out quickly.    

In a nutshell, I do all that I can to make the squirrel think that its life is in mortal danger, and that if it doesn’t leave it may be killed soon and eaten by a predator.  (I don’t really eat Flying Squirrels by the way.)  This is by no means a permanent fix.   In the eyes of a squirrel, a predator is not a permanent fixture in any one location.  Predators come and go, but predator fear will cause the squirrel to desert its den.   

Predator Treatment Benefits 

Though it is not a permanent fix, there are several advantages to this treatment that make it worth the effort.    Squirrels that react slowly in dangerous situations quickly become a meal.  Most customers report that the attic noises dropped off withing 24 hours or so with a crescendo on “moving night" as momma squirrel carries her babies out.   This gives the customer a sense of peace and takes the pressure off.  I can take my time, do my work with less stress, and do a better job.  

 Big Customer Bonus – Getting the Babies Out 

Squirrels have two baby seasons.  One in the Fall and one in the Spring, and the bulk of my calls involve some momma squirrel raising her litter in somebody's attic.   Now, what most don’t realize is that getting momma out is easy.  I just set a trap over the entrance and BAM; I have momma!  (Usually, within 12 hours sometimes two or three.)   But hardware does a poor job of getting those helpless babies out of a tight space inside a wall.   If you can do something to convince momma squirrel that this is a bad nest site and to move the babies, you are way ahead of the game.   If you don’t get the babies out, you are likely to have three to five stinking carcasses in your wall or attic.  Yuck, and you may have to cut drywall inside the house...if you are lucky enough to find them! 

Saving Squirrel Lives 

In the days before I used the Predator Eviction Treatment, I hauled away a lot of squirrels.  I prefer to set up a live trap, but sometimes they still die.  Squirrels are high energy animals and can stroke out and die inside a couple of hours if stressed.  (I had one literally die in my hands on a Johnson City tree streets job once...what sadness!)  Even if I relocate them “successfully”, they may still die of starvation because they have left their cache of nuts behind.   My Predator Eviction Treatment gets the squirrel out without risk of mortality.  

So, What Exactly is the Predator Eviction Treatment 

In the beginning, I started using my own “predator scent cocktail” to get momma attic squirrel to leave.  The treatment works with nonbreeding squirrels, but having a nest full of immobile babies leaves the squirrel more vulnerable than she would be otherwise and makes it even more effective. Think about it, if your pregnant wife saw (or sniffed) a tiger prowling around near her car wouldn’t she be worried and expect you to get rid of it.  (I’m not licensed for tigers by the way, so you are on your own on that one.)  I suspect that if pregnant women have a heightened sense of smell then momma squirrels do too.  Momma squirrels' senses are on full alert so to protect her babies against danger.  I use that to my advantage. 

Touching on All the Squirrels Senses 

When I first started using the treatment, I was getting about a 50 - 60% success rate.  Since then, I have made some improvements.  I decided that if I could convince a Flying Squirrel to leave just by applying predator scent, then I could probably increase my success rate by contacting her other senses.  When I can get good access to the nest area and apply the full force of the Predator Eviction Treatment, it is a highly effective multipronged treatment.   

Smell - I use my own private “predator sauce” which is a mix of predator smells that squirrels are genetically programmed to recognize.  One sniff of this stuff and those rodents will be shaking in their little boots.  I usually apply the “predator sauce” to a rag so that I can retrieve it later in case it makes an odor downstairs.  It rarely does though.  The draft in an attic usually carries the smell out the attic vents. 

Sight –   There is nothing that strikes fear into the heart of a squirrel more than seeing 200 pounds of bearded, “predator looking”, critter guy climbing right into your cozy nest zone.  “Be the predator” I always say.  Climbing right into the nest zone may be hard to impossible and carries some personal risk, but this can be a very powerful part of the process.  I always try to get as close to the den site as possible to maximize its effectiveness.   If I can, I also leave behind a flashing strobe light to blind the squirrel.  When I leave, it’s like some type of bizarre disco party where somebody has been smoking some really crazy weed. 

Touch and Taste – I use a concentrated capsaicin deterrent product that creates a burning sensation and greasy fur. (Imagine eating extreeeemely greasy ghost pepper tacos and getting it all over your face and hair and the restaurant doesn’t offer napkins or anything to drink.  Are you coming back to that restaurant again?  I think not!) 

Sound – Yes sound too!  I use a dying animal squealer.   It makes a high-pitched dying baby animal sound that is very convincing.  This really increases the squirrels blood pressure.  “Oh no, it already grabbed one baby...what do I do?  Run kids, run!” 

What the Squirrels Say 

In the world of squirrels, a predator that walks past the base of your tree is a success story.  “Look how smart I was for locating my nest here.  Ha...stupid predator”.    But, a predator in your nest zone that sounds like it is killing somebody, makes your paws, ears, and nose burn, and leaves your den smelling of predator is a whole different matter.  It is time to pack up and move out.  “What's that noise momma? Is someone dying?   Ewww, what's that smell.  Is that what a predator smells like, Momma? Waaaaa...I wanna go!” “Get your things together kids!  We’re getting outta here!  This neighborhood isn’t what the realtor said it was!” 

It worked 

I swapped text with Mr.  and Mrs. G. over the next couple of days, and sure enough the noises in the attic stopped by the next evening.   Mrs. G. was thrilled and quite impressed.  I always go ahead and run traps/one-way doors over the entrances, just in case.  After all, even the best critter guy can't completely know the mind of a squirrel.  I also had yet to seal up her gable vents and soffit entrances, but she didn’t have any more issues after the treatment.  I liked that Mrs. G. was happy.  That made me happy.  I didn’t have to kill Mrs. G.’s squirrels either.   That made me happy too.